What Does It Mean to Be Healthy?
The following is adapted from The Grace of Cancer.
In all honesty, right before I was diagnosed with cancer at age 49, I felt invincible. Obviously, I had heard horror stories about other people getting ill, but I never thought something like that would happen to me. I ate fairly well and cooked five days a week. I did not drink or do drugs like so many other people. I thought I was the epitome of healthy living.
So when doctors told me that I had stage four metastatic lung cancer, I learned a real lesson in humility. Quickly, I was forced to detach myself from the life I had planned and the person I was. Despite believing that I had a bulletproof body, I, Veronica Villanueva, had a disease.
I refused to accept the doctors’ six-month prognosis, and today, I am still here, tumor-free, and living my best life. It wasn’t an easy healing journey, and one of the first things I had to accept was that I had never fully understood what being healthy meant. For most of my life, I assumed that the key to being healthy was over-exercising and eating right. I couldn’t have been more misguided.
Here’s what my battle with cancer taught me about living a healthy life.
The Connection Between the Mind and Body
Before I got sick, I experienced years of chronic negative emotions like sadness, anxiety, and loneliness. My family life looked perfect from the outside, but little did everyone know, inside I experienced emotional chaos. I lived in an unhappy marriage and suffered from intense loneliness and guilt for not being happy when everyone in my social circle thought I had everything a woman could want: a successful husband, three beautiful children, a large home, and trips around the world.
I began going through divorce proceedings shortly before my diagnosis. I believe the years of unhappiness and negativity primed my body for disease and set the wheels in motion, but the shock of my divorce is what ultimately triggered the cancer. I had expected to have an amicable divorce with my husband, and because I went into the separation in good faith, I believed he had done the same.
Little did I know he had been collecting years of “evidence” to paint me in a poor light. When I realized he had built an extensive case against me while I had nothing to defend myself with, the shock was unbelievable. I remember thinking about the position I was in and saying to myself, “I’m doomed.” I believe that was the moment that triggered the cancer. The mind and body share a powerful connection, and by speaking those words, I had told my body that my life was over.
This may sound overly simplistic, but we sorely underestimate the strength of the connection between our minds and bodies. The way you live your life and the thoughts you think have a huge impact on your internal health, which I never realized. By living in a stressful and unhappy state for so many years, I had created a disease in my body. Although I did the right things for my physical appearance, I was damaging myself internally.
Science and spirituality both support the idea that a strong connection exists between the mind and body. Physics asserts that our perception forms our reality. Neuroscience tells us our thoughts influence our biochemistry. Spirituality says that life doesn’t happen to us, it unfolds from us. The mind and body affect each other in every way, and if we are not healthy mentally and spiritually, we cannot be healthy physically.
Once I knew about these connections, I wholeheartedly believed I had the power to undo the damage I had inflicted on myself. I decided to heal my body and become the absolute best version of myself. I chose to live.
The Chronic Factor
Clearly, cancer results mostly from metabolic causes. There are simply too many people dying from cancer for us to all be genetically predisposed to the disease. In the United States, approximately 40 percent of men and women will be diagnosed with cancer at some point in their lives. Any integrative doctor will tell you that we are doing this to ourselves. Our internal terrain is so damaged that it becomes a perfect breeding ground for any chronic illness, like cancer.
In this day and age, we live in a constant “chronic” state. We have chronic worry, fear, anger, stress, inflammation, and no sleep. If everything in our lives is chronic, how would this not breed a chronic disease? Take inflammation as an example, which is a precursor to diseases. Weight training causes inflammation, which is good for the body. However, inflammation can easily become chronic if overdone and persistent.
The bottom line is that we have forgotten how to take care of ourselves. At some point, we will pay for this. I certainly did.
There is no denying that cancer has become an everyday disease. As sad as this is, it is also good news because it means we can take steps to heal ourselves! We can use a healthy lifestyle as medicine, which is what worked for me. Medicine does not have the power to make people want to change to get better. We need to do that ourselves. I got rid of my tumors by changing the way I live from A to Z!
I kept up a healthy lifestyle of eating well, exercising, and following my doctors’ care plans. But I also made a concerted effort to change my perspective. I identified the sources of negativity in my life, adopted a positive outlook, and meditated. I focused on self-love, compassion, and gratitude instead of anger, anxiety, and sorrow.
Any time I found myself asking, “Why me?” I empowered myself and started asking, “What lessons am I supposed to learn from this?” We tend to automatically assume the worst about our situations, but that tendency is counter-productive. In the words of Dr. Wayne Dyer, “You can’t always control what goes on outside, but you can always control what goes on inside.”
Learn to Be Happy, and You Will Be Healthy
My anxiety and desire to control every aspect of my life were huge sources of negativity and unhappiness, and I think a lot of people struggle to let go of control. However, you need to accept that you cannot control everything and open yourself up to anything that can help you live.
If you want to be healthy, don’t just focus on your body. Revisit the core questions that will reshape your life. What kind of life are you fighting for? How do you want to transform yourself? Where is the incredible life that you are supposed to have? As you push through pain and humility, you will find the greatness of life. A healthy life also requires inner work.
For more advice on being healthy, you can find The Grace of Cancer on Amazon.
Veronica Villanueva discovered her “why” after being diagnosed with stage IV cancer in 2016. She knows she is alive today to share grace, blessings, and the lessons that cancer has taught her. Her “incurable” disease gave her the gift of knowing herself, loving herself, and sharing herself with others in a profound way. Through her work as a trained Cordon Bleu chef and certified health coach, Veronica aims to inspire others to embrace a holistic lifestyle built on a commitment to growth, eating healthy foods, taking the time to create memorable moments, and of course, fostering loving relationships.
